all tied up

Look at me boy
Aint I sweet
Aint I kind
A pretty little thing on a string
But you got me fucked up If you think Im blind
you got me fucked up if you think im just a charm
here to dangle upon your arm
to let you rub my ass while i stroke your ego
I aint that sweet I aint that kind
i just might be plain evil
your pretty little thing on a string is gonna get you entangled
and what can you do
the idea of being strangled
turns me on

petting zoo

They call this a bar
but you seem to think its a petting zoo
there is nothing in this drink that going to make me want to even touch you
and you need to keep your hands to yourself
I quickly scan the room searching for help
but all i can see
is the last three idiots that tried to fondle me

Im not interested in your boat
for all I care you can jump in the lake
Dont care about who you know
and you know its getting late

No thank you I dont need a ride
dont want to go home with you
dont want to get high
I dont want your number
I already forgot your name
take your hand off my shoulder
dont watch me bend over
"did you just ask me if i were gay?"

baaaa your not a lama your a lame

I am so gone

rules of engagement a work still in progress will edit soon

Before you have a seat
Before we officially "meet"
Before you even ask me my name
Listen to this

I dont take no shit
have no desire to taste a liars kiss
This is how I am designed
If Im fucking it
Its mine
dont waiste my time
If you have a girl friend a boyfriend or a wife
I got no room for you in my life

And I need you to sign this PRE FUCKTUAL AGREEMENT
Dont just sign You need to read it

If you tell me something Im going to believe it
and I will tell you no lies
I drink I smoke I sometimes get high
Ive got some deep wounds so sometimes this leads me to the front yard
half naked cursing god And I cry
There are times I am compelled to create
I get a little dramatic
I make plenty of mistakes
In public I am quite charming and when needed I can even behave
But I am a gemini and its possible that could change
Change marks the progression of life- I am open to almost anything
Talk to me- Show me- Listen- and I like to have my ass rubbed so I can fall asleep
Ya In bed I can be a bit of a freak- The same girl that when you cry I weep
I never tollerate little brain mentality
so if you have shit to talk about someone else dont tell me
I am eager to help the needy I just need a plan
anyone I meet I am willing to offer a hand You may not understand
You being a male I may never understand you
I promise that I will at least try

Now the important part
make no mistake
I am my own favorite mother fucker to hate
but should you disrespect me neglect me or be cruel
I can not be responsable for what I may do
You will be the one to set the rules of engagement
So again I cant be blamed
And you have been warned

your new nick name will be gimp
if i find another on your arm
keep that in mind I usually aim below the belt
trust me anything i throw at you
will be felt

pitter patter

Pitter patter
There on the floor
How long will it take to die
I cant bear to watch it anymore
Cant you see it suffer
Look at it battered and bruised
It was once whole-- or was it you that made it whole
Why did I even give it to you
I don’t know it was long ago
But now it is clearly broken
It was once a sought after prize
To you just a token
My heart

Dear lord
Those whos love for me was most true
You have called home
Leaving me with more than I can do
Leaving me to do it alone
I know its not for me to understand
I know that this somehow is part of your plan
You see me grieve
Dear lord it should have been me
I bleed but I still breathe
You have placed so much in these hands
Hands that shake
No stranger to mistakes
And I fail and I pay the price
This time its not just my life

letter to christopher

Letter to Christopher
I long for the hands of a dead man
I reach out from deep in my soul
You could never understand
I long for the touch from the one I
Should of never let go
I want to kiss still lips
Though they speak no more-
I have no need to hear what my heart
Already knows
I will lay my head on an empty chest
And know the beat and the nature of the heart it once held
The one that knew me best---- and loved me still
And I will walk with a ghost-
Even if it reminds me my arms are empty
Just to remember--

rant about cheaters

Im not twenty and Im not forty
but I am due to fall in love again
the problem is
I keep dating these unavailable single men
they dont wear signs and you know they all stoped
wearing rings-
There are no marks identifying
and dont think for a minute that you are going to be abil to taste on their lips
weather or not they are full of shit

you know how they explain how roaches always seem to survive
like they get ammune to the different poisons it stops killing them it just gets them high
well its just like that with these men
every race, faith, position, all with a different means of operation
they are way ahead of us and our lines of questions
they will tell you they are on vacation
how convienent they already have a hotel room
others are in between a move
they have another house in another town
their ex lives there just until it sells
and you dont question because it seems they are always around
days weeks even months at a time
the two of you together almost every night
in the begining its inappropriate to pry
and you cant ask them straight out because if they are a lier they are just going to lie
dont trust cell phone records because they usually have two
hell for all you know they might of picked up an extra one just to call you
even if you have every number they have you in their cell phone under a different name
and think about it if youre together your number isnt going to be on record
are you begining to see the game
just let me tell you about the diver
we were going to move in together
i asked him what was his longest relationship and he said a year
he had been married for three
then he disappeared
and then back to me. told me he didnt tell me about his wife because she left him for another man-
and once again-- he was going to move in
went back home and it was the same shit-- except this time she came back home because he
filed for divorce and they had the house they had to split-- he told me he filed for me--
as if he had forgotten that i too was married technically
besides we never even talked about getting hitched- you see you see
it was all bull shit
and that was last jan have not heard a word from him sense-
hmmmm i wonder how his divorce went?
Oh and then there was the one that had all kinds of friends--- i got some bad news-
you cant even trust women-- he had girls look me straight in the eye -- and lie---
now can you tell me why
if they want them for their own so bad id be happy to get up out of the way
that was all she had to say-- but it wasnt just me== or just her---- it was them---
thats right he had so many i couldnt even count them--- his life long friends
and with all this non sense you could just imagine how it might end
and that is why they all seem to have a crazy ex girl friend

troubles in text

Well you wouldnt believe what I just stumbled on to....
I mean
what i seen
after i hit view

I know I shouldnt of even touched his phone
but he was fast asleep
and I couldnt locate my own

common sense told me it would be easy enough to find
if i just used his to call mine

and there it was "one new text"
Im not even sure what it was i hit
maybe it said skip maybe it said next
before , maybe , after, her name
you know his ex

it said something how they are no longer a team
but she loves him still
always did, always has, always will
but i was good , i didnt even read it twice
and i didnt even scroll through the others
that just wouldnt be right or polite

and it was an accedent I am sure it was ok
but when i dialed my number
it wasnt my name that was displayed

after a few rings i found my phone
left his alone
all the while these thaughts are in the back of my mind
things like this happen all the time
in fact there will probably be a text from me
that someone else will regret if they hit read